My darling Sis
Cheer oh! I received your letter last night and was delighted with its length. Poor old Dad, I feel so sorry for him, but he can rely on my support both physically and what will interest him more financially “I don’t think” which reminds me what became of that 2 quid he is looking after for me. I hope he hasn’t spent it on oil for the tools. Bow wow. Sorry my last letter was a bit late but I am in front this time. You won’t know me when I come home I am getting so brown and my moustache, oh the moustache, it’s a darling you are sure to like it. I don’t know what Hilda will have to say though. What’s all this about me ****ing after eating one of Hilda’s cakes. They are simply splendid. Do you remember those pies you used to make in a little round tin when ever so much better than that. I should just think it is time you sent me another parcel. I don’t know what you are doing, the last was just great but it had got a bit dry on the way so do something to keep the cake moist, a bit of butter and comes in useful too. Give my kind regards to P. Charley, he seems to be done for poor chap. I wrote to Burgey the other day so am expecting to hear from him shortly. No wonder he wanted to get back to France with a soft job like his. It’s a good thing one of us have a cushee time. Old Bill seems to be forging ahead, I bet he’s an awful dog now. I would love to see him with Bessie. I think I would make myself a bit scarcer than last time. Now don’t for one moment think this is a tip for you are you wanting any more gloves? I like the way you rushed me last time. Really Glad I don’t know how you had the nerve.
I can’t imagine “Stuff” as a tailors model with that kink in his neck. I bet old Burgy has the time of his life kidding Bill & myself. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear he had married some French girl, although from what I have seen they aren’t very attractive. We would find old James a good job here as gamekeeper looking after the rats unless he was very care his sporting suit would soon be chewed up. I would love to have seen Dad working on the clock. He will have quite a lot to play with now, in fact all his spare time will be occupied mending bicycles, taps, clocks and the garden. I bet Ma was a bit fed up when Dad started on the clock. I suppose the usual “That’s right smash it” but if Pa only thought he could get his own back by asking the price of photo enlargements that’s where Ma’s absolutely best. I hope to be back in time for the “Earlies”, I hanged if I know what that means how I can’t for the life of me understand why I never hear anything about the Sewell fiasco. I expect Pa has made such a mess of it with his detective ****** that he is lying low. For when the “Lads”- Guss & myself come home. Well Glad old girl I am quite OK, Hilda has gone to Southport, you want to get it “69” if you can, you would have the time of your life. There is nothing much to report on the Western Front sorry I can’t find any flowers in our bit of trench to send, but how would a decent Boche shell do. I found one today, it only weighs about umpteen pounds it fairly put the “wind up” me. Well I hope Ma will crash into that cake but be careful not to put rice flour in instead of sugar, I am not saying anything but make a note of it. Fondest love to all, tell Ma to be a little more sedate. The idea of taking part in a play
Well bye bye Sis