Daniell

1. Start with an object.  It will help to keep you “on the rails” and also put the reader “into the picture” from the start.

• Do NOT, in a military paper, get led astray into writing rhetorical passages with rather “flowery” language.  Keep it simple and short – rather dull but it saves TIME.

• You have led up to and brought out well, the results of background and training on the JAP soldier.  Your style is flowing but try and produce a paper rather than an essay.  Divide up your factors into shorter paras and make them stand out by underlining.

• Do NOT spend too long on these principles but get on to the JAP methods in the three ops of war that have been laid down for this paper.

• You might have included here, some details of his supporting arms and how he uses them.

• Quite a good effort and “easy” to read.  Do NOT forget that in military writing, that it is more a “paper” than an essay.  Without spoiling the “flow”, try and break it up into paras and headings so that your main facts are easily picked out and better “rammed home”.

EHS